Especially when you've gotten so used to the speed on broadband. xD
Amazing. I had that much patience? <3
Hey f-list, I know it's way early but I'd like to know your residential addresses.
I plan to send stuff over.
Possibly for Christmas but if I can't make it can it be for Valentine's Day? xD;
Well what do you think?
I really want to make this thing work!
Oh! While you're at it, drop your birthday too...
I'll try to send a card... I'LL TRY.
It's not required though! But if you like... Please comment!
Don't worry, all comments will be screened! <3
RESIDENTS IN THE PHILIPPINES MAY ALSO DROP THEIR ADDRESSES AND YES YOU ARE NOT EXCLUDED FROM RECEIVING STUFF FROM ME OVER MAIL.
...Considering as I rarely get out of the house, I suppose it's not sinful to send/mail stuff over.
Especially if you're from Manila D<
PS: I'd like your addresses before the end of October. I plan to send stuff over by November you see... If not... X_x; I might have difficulty? But try anyway. We'll see maybe I'll try something out. If I can't, then perhaps Valentines or your birthday then? xD
- Music:ELLEGARDEN - Firecracker
I am seriously out of words.
I thought coming online would prove to soothe my loneliness and make me happy.
Or at least feel better.
Rather it has done the opposite.
I am depressed.
Why must I feel this way?
Why must I feel so strongly for someone... For that person.
It hurts to know how low he finds himself.
I am tempted to share how much he means to me but I feel it would be too soon.
I feel shallow...
But I know there's nothing wrong about how I feel just breaking it out would be.
Not because I'm a girl and girls don't confess to boys or other girls... first.
It's the whole.. thing. He's not ready.
He's too fragile.
It wouldn't help.
This would break too soon.
Hold my piece and watch as he sinks deeper.
Makes me wish we were closer.
I'm bothered way too much by this.
I'm talking in riddles just in case someone finds this journal.
On other things, I'm glad that I've finally put my foot down on a certain issue.
I am happier now.
I don't feel indebted to be good to people I dislike now.
...and I have realized that I am not in need of lovers.
I want friends.
I need friends.
Not people who simply label you and vice versa simply because you're a utility of convenience for them...
Something tells me I might be mistaking these feelings of affection for him as love or infatuation.
I am actually just being a friend to him...
He reminds me slightly of Ermine.
- Music:30 Seconds to Mars - Savior
Perhaps the best trial for a debater is when s/he is made to debate against a motion that s/he deeply believes in.
It allows the debater to see the other side. It also tests his/her beliefs about said motion.
If his/her hold on his/her opinions is strong enough not to be swayed or changed simply because of it.
Also, it can see through how a debater is able to put aside his/herself and be professional about things.
I think I just contradicted myself too. >w<
I hate the fact I can't take an alternate subject in place of Speech 133 which involves debating.
I really don't want to debate after all.
I have issues.
Of which I still haven't gotten over with.
But I will try my best nonetheless.
I'm nervous and quite frightened by the idea of debating again...
It's a good thing I chose to take the class after my class or else I might have fret some more.
...I want to let go but I want blood to be shed first >_>;
When people ask if I still have grudges towards the class I find my throat dry and I am unable to reply with a clean heart.
Geez. That sounded corny!
- Music:Natalie Imbruglia - Beauty of the Fire
I can't...breathe. I feel SO damn paranoid.
...I want to breathe in peace and safeness feeling.
At least I know I'm safe from the possibility of having someone drop in on me when I happen to be visiting for other reasons... Visiting some other person.
Still... I live in fear.
Or something like that.
-starts to feel very, very clamy and weird-
I hate this... It's seriously stressing me out.
How dare you disrupt my good mood and thus prevent me from continuning my beloved fanfic.
I hate you.
- Music:Within Temptation - Stand My Ground
I am very very amused.
I need a Kururu icon here. >D
_ - _
Which Keroro Gunsou Character Are You?
You are Kururu Souchou. You often use words most people can't even pronounce, much less understand, and your hobbies are so far beyond the average human mind that trying to relate them would be like sticking someone's brain in a microwave and setting it to "popcorn". Slightly shy, slightly hermitous, and overly troublesome, you are a bit arrogant, and definitely quite cocky. But you're also secretly quite talented, and in the end, they all look up to you for advice, help, or just bail money. Oh well-- we can't all be superstars.
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- Music:Kigurumi - Kurutto Mawatte Ikkaiten
I have an exam later. Coupled with a report.
Somehow I don't mind.
I haven't exactly studied properly for both. I don't know how I'll deal with it but I know I will.
It's a matter of I have to or I'll get crispied.
It's odd how some people when they rant, they end up ranting about their whole life story. That irritates me.
I feel like screaming go get a LJ and splatter your emo-ness there, thank you.
I don't need to hear about your life at the moment.
Or how dramatic it is.
Perhaps it's my mood for being anti social or I'm tired of being your sponge.
How unbecoming. I used to actually enjoy being people's sponges.
Then again that was when I used to still care for other people.
Back in the day, I was ordered/told to avoid people - just one person - and distance myself.
Because the person who ordered me didn't like that person so much.
It was difficult as I was somewhat close? to the person and liked being around that person.
Then I taught myself how to dislike being around that person. It was hard but I did it.
Wow. I'm reading what I just wrote and I can't help but go WOW.
...I really did allow myself to be manipulated that much?
Anyway... So I did.
The sad part is that the person who ordered/told/adviced me... We cut off relations now.
More over, me having to avoid that person and distancing has become a part of me.
I now do it out of habit.
I feel like laughing a little thinking wow. I actually fell for it. And I'm still doing it.
I lost. :P
I don't know why I'm randomly sharing that though...
I guess I just need to vent.
And I have come to realize that I am actually happier now that I am alone.
I just don't like being in the presence of people who aren't single and I start feeling insecure and lonely.
And me wanting to be in a relationship is just a want...not a necessity.
I don't need to be in a relationship to feel happy. I can be on my own.
Though the nagging feeling of being lonely comes to mind at some points in life.
...It's better than anything else.
I am starting to dislike the idea of those online forum based hang outs these days.
The drama is just painful.
- Music:Davide Usher - Everything is alright by me now
Your results:You are Dark Phoenix
||A prime example of emotional extremes: Passion and fury incarnate.
Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz
- Music:E Nomine - Der Turm
I hate it when my gaming experience soon becomes a terrible one because of losers who cannot keep to themselves how pitiful they are.
So much that it becomes their life blood to whine and complain at others until they end up asking help - aka do the work for me.
Tired as I was, I did it and I thought it would end the bitching. Alas it only got worse.
She is still whining about her losses but at least not as frequent. She still can't get things done and still complains.
It's sad since back in the day it used to be somewhat the reverse.
I was in the dumps but I didn't whine or ask her to do things for me. I didn't like how she would reply "Poor you" to my angst.
I asked help but rarely got what I truly needed anyway.
Now the tables have somewhat turned, I feel a bit victimized nonetheless. I want to do what she did or so what she made me feel also.
I don't feel cruel thinking about it. Instead I feel an insane streak of glee doing it.
I hate talking to people I haven't talked to in a long time.
You remind them of something.
Worse, you have nothing to support you but memory.
Why do I feel like the bag guy here?
...Sometimes I wonder why I bother talking to them.
I also dislike how my chat manners have changed.
I hate seeing online acronyms like LOL and what not.
...As much as I do, seeing it so much has a way of seeping into your system.
Now I say it out loud and type out some. I never type out LOL.
Only on occassion.
But it irritates me nonetheless.
I find it very illiterate.
There's this girl I talk to on YM and AIM - more on AIM now - who has a habit of suddenly signing out on me when I talk to her.
She never says goodbye or hi. Has a habit of long periods of not replying and what not.
I was still in first year college when this usually happened. I don't know why but I'm not really very close with her but it hurt me.
It kept happening.
The next thing I knew I started doing it myself. When it was too late in the evening, I just suddenly sign out or whenever I want to.
Though I try not to keep people waiting for replies. Or I just kill the conversation by not replying anymore. She does that too.
I hate how it has come to this. I'm thinking it's a case of "She does it. I can too."
And I know I'm being unfair.
But truth be told, some people not just her also have a habit of also killing conversations.
So in a way I'm like "I'd like to think I'm not alone when this happens."
...Nonetheless I'm sad that happens.
I need to go rant on yet another journal.
- Music:Breaking Benjamin - Diary of Jane
...I swear she and I are only at good terms when she's not busy trying to make fun or insult my shortcomings.
I may noy be as familiar with the directions and places in the city because of my situation but you don't rub to make me look like an idiot.
Or sound like one.
Even if in jest.
I don't find it funny.
It's like saying if I were to go to Makati, I'll end up so lost that I'll end up in Quezon City.
Thanks a lot.
That reminds me why I don't like getting close to your likes anymore.
...Touchy I am indeed.
...Am I that of an idiot?
So this is what I gave up so much for?
Geez. Such a waste.
Oh wait. I wasn't defending the people per se but the fact that I could make my own decisions no matter how dumb or stupid. I made decisions and I'm not the sort to just give them up because I'm not told to.
Not without a fight.
Besides I already made my stand. The fight's done now.
...But that doesn't mean I can't get rid of these strings called friendship anyway. XD;
I bet half of you or more on my friends list have no idea what I'm taslking about.
- Music:RED - Breathe Into Me